


Without Words

by Aki (Akiko_Natsuko)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 02:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16338476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Aki
Summary: Asahi had missed countless opportunities to say what he wanted to say to Nishinoya, three simple words that he never seemed to be able to say aloud. In the end, he discovers that the words weren’t needed





	Without Words

    Asahi knew that he should ignore the message when it popped up in the corner of his screen, he had to get this essay finished before the end of the day, but a quick glance at the clock on the wall told him that it was just time for practice to be finishing. That was all it took for him to abandon his work, ignoring the voice that sounded suspiciously like a mix of Daichi and Suga that was telling him to get it done, clicking on the notification as it popped up. Sure, enough it was from Nishinoya, and a small smile crept across his face as he settled back in his chair to read about the latest happenings from his old team, biting back a laugh as Nishinoya bemoaned the chaos that the now second year Kageyama and Hinata were causing, wondering when Ennoshita was going to point out that it was karma for the chaos the libero had caused in the past.

     It was nice to hear that they were doing well, although he felt a pang as Nishinoya informed him that they were gearing up for another training camp. Whilst he still played Volleyball, it was only for fun now and as nice as the college team was, he missed the Karasuno team more than he had ever thought possible.

He missed Nishinoya.

     The first week or two of college had been the worst, as it had coincided with the start of the school year, so they had both been too busy to talk beyond the odd text message and in the privacy of his own thoughts he had even considered moving back once or twice. He hadn’t though, not least because Nishinoya had been the most vocal in congratulating him about getting accepted into his first choice, and had been his own personal cheerleader when he had been agonising over the application. Still, it had been closer than he cared to admit, but then the emails had started.

    He’d come back from class one day to find an email waiting for him. It had been a long, rambling account of the last couple of weeks, featuring blow by blow accounts of nearly every practice, and the oddest anecdotes from Nishinoya’s life. It had been the first time he had smiled so freely since moving here, and forgetting that he was supposed to be meeting people at the library, he had sat and replied, telling Noya about his first two weeks, his room…making sure he knew that there was room for him if he wanted to visit…how Volleyball had been going, including how he’d nearly panicked when several of the players had recognised him from the Spring Tournament, staring at him with awe.

That had been the start.

    After that, they had started exchange messages every two days, if not everyday depending on what happened during their day. These moments when he sat reading Nishinoya’s words, had become the highlight of his day, and as he worked his way through the email, he would imagine that the other teen was there chatting to him. It was remarkably easy to imagine the expressions that would accompany each story, the way he would bounce up and down when he was excited, how he would gesticulate when he thought that Asahi wasn’t involved enough.

He still missed Nishinoya.

     The emails helped, but they weren’t the same as being exposed to Nishinoya’s often overwhelming energy and he sighed as he stared at the computer, a familiar regret gnawing at him as he clicked on the reply button.

He should have said something.

    He had been planning on speaking to Nishinoya after the tournament, but they had all been caught up in the aftermath, and then they had been distracted with school and exams, the last few months passing in a blur, with graduation rushing towards them. He had promised himself that he would speak to Nishinoya then, knowing that if he didn’t then he would regret it and that he might never get a chance, after all where he was moving to it wasn’t really possible to just pop for a chat, and there was no way he was doing it by email or phone. However, he had chickened out as he stood there, diploma in hand and Nishinoya talking away a mile a moment, congratulating him, slapping him on the back and managing to invite himself along to the celebratory meal.

    They had spent the summer together in between their respective jobs and Asahi preparing for college, practicing volleyball where they could, meeting up with the rest of the team or just hanging out together. There had been so many opportunities, so many moments when it had just been the two of them and they had been so close…so, so close that Asahi had felt his breath hitching at times, and itched to just reach out and close the distance between them. But he hadn’t, and before he knew the summer was gone and they were stood outside his house, his parents’ car piled high with his belongings, Nishinoya wrapping him up in a tight hug and wishing him good luck in a strange, strained voice that he hadn’t known what to make of.

That had been his last chance, and still he had remained silent.

    His fingers hovered over the keys for a moment, before slowly, he typed out the words he had been trying to say for so long. _I love you._ Briefly he wondered what Nishinoya would do if he just sent him that message, staring at the words. Three words, not even big ones, but they were so hard to say. Sighing, he slowly deleted them again, before starting to write about his day, replying to Nishinoya’s tales as he went and cursing himself for his cowardice all the while.

****

   The emails had continued for the next few weeks, the only thing that got Asahi through a spate of deadlines, but with each message he felt the ball of regret growing and he came closer and closer to sending those three words through email. He couldn’t do it though, that wasn’t how he wanted it to happen. He wanted to say the words himself, to be close enough to see the shifts in Nishinoya’s expression and those brown eyes, to watch his reaction.

    Which was why he found himself in the library at midnight, frantically trying to finish his work for the week so that he could justify taking a weekend away from college. He hadn’t told Nishinoya what he was planning, although he had managed to find out that there was practice that weekend, which would make it easy enough to track him down when he arrived. In fact, the only people who knew of his plan to visit, and the reason behind it were Suga and Daichi who had finally caved and texted for advice, although the long email he had got from the former had nearly made him regret it, as it had been a mixture of long, convoluted advice and excited encouragement. Daichi’s response had been brief and to the point, telling him to stop messing around and just do it and Asahi knew that if his friend had been there to say it, he would have been wearing the same terrifying expression he always wore when corralling them. It had been enough to make him buy the ticket home.

He just hoped that it wasn’t going to be a mistake.

***

    Karasuno hadn’t changed much in the few months he had been gone, a small, fond smile tugging at his lips as he stared up at the school two days later when he finally arrived. The journey had exhausted him, and not for the first time he wondered why he had chosen a college that was so far away. It was going to make what he was hoping for all the harder, and he faltered for a moment. Maybe it was too much to hope for? Too much to ask for? He might have even given in and turned around if his phone hadn’t vibrated a moment later, and he automatically fished it out in case it was from Nishinoya, instead Suga’s name flashed up on the screen and he winced before opening the message.

_Don’t you dare chicken out now._

 Open-mouthed he glanced around, half expecting to find Suga watching him from somewhere, but he was alone, and he frowned down at the message, nearly jumping out of his skin when it vibrated again with another message, this one from Daichi.

_Just tell him._

    Such helpful friends he had, he thought with a sigh, slipping the phone away without bothering to reply. Still, the fact he knew they wouldn’t give him a moment of peace if he chickened out now had him moving forward, feeling slightly numb as he took the familiar path towards the gym.

    It wasn’t long until he could hear the sounds of practice, and he smiled at the familiar sound of shouting and balls bouncing. It felt like coming home, especially when he made out Kageyama’s voice above the other names, yelling at someone and his smile grew as he heard ‘dumbass’ being tossed around, it was nice to know that some things hadn’t changed.

   The gym doors were open, and he quietly approached them, wanting to watch for a while before announcing his presence. There were new faces on the court, and he felt a pang at the reminder that some things had changed as he saw Yachi standing where Kiyoko had always stood, a clipboard clasped against her chest as she watched the practice match, occasionally scribbling things down. Slowly his gaze travelled over the rest of the team, shaking his head as he saw Kageyama and Hinata bickering even as they lined up for their quick, but he still felt his breath catch as he watched it. They had honed it further he could tell just by watching, and he almost pitied the players that would face them in the future…almost. Ennoshita was shouting orders and scolding Tanaka at the same time as the Spiker nearly collided with him in his enthusiasm.

And there he was.

    A flash of colour against the other uniforms, hair still as wild as ever and Asahi felt himself leaning forward, watching intently as the libero moved to receive a tricky spike from Tsukishima. He still had the same focus, the same deadly energy as his eyes tracked the ball and Asahi ached to be on the court with him, to have Nishinoya at his back once more. He wasn’t even aware of the fact that he had taken a step into the gym, giving his presence away until Takeda spotted him, eyes widening before a bright smile spread across his face and he called out a greeting, all activity in the gym coming to an abrupt halt as all eyes turned to him.

Asahi blanched for a moment.

    However, before he could recover there was an explosion of noise, his old teammates shouting out exuberant greetings whilst the newest members hissed questions, but Asahi’s attention was on Nishinoya who was standing silently amid the chaos and starting at him with wide eyes. Asahi didn’t know what to make of his reaction, all the plans and words he had thought of on the train disappearing as he stood there, and he was glad when Nishinoya moved, not sure that he had it in him to do anything.  He stumbled back when the smaller teen collided with him, wrapping his arms around him in a bruising hug and Asahi had half a moment to think that he had got a little taller, before Nishinoya’s grip shifted and he found himself being tugged down as Nishinoya rose to meet him.

   The kiss that followed, short-circuited whatever had remained of the plans he’d had, and he was deaf to their blushing and cat-calling friends, the world narrowing down to Nishinoya and the fact that he was kissing him.

That he felt the same.

 

 

 


End file.
